I only have 2 exams left and then I am finished with school forever. So why is it that I am struggling to stay motivated? I should want to finish on a
good GREAT note, especially because my final 2 exams are big ones; history and French.
It is just that I am tired now and I am bored of writing exams. I want this to be over and i want to go dye my hair and then i am going away for a week for end of school rage. I just can’t stay motivated!!!
It is 21:10 now and i still have an essay to study for History and then a whole other section. hmph.
BLACK COFFEE and good music will get me through tonight I guess.
he is special. there has always been something special about him. i like him, but he is studying in america right now and i am not.
there is so much distance between us, physical distance. but i feel so close to him at the same time. i don’t know how to do this. i don’t want to fall too hard and then have my whole world shattered by him.
he has such a beautiful soul and i want him in my life. he comes back in may and i cannot wait. i just want him to kiss me and hold me and i want to do the same back to him. i want to squish his beautiful face.
falling. so hopelessly.
- Cheryl Rainfield, Stained (via larmoyante)
I can’t cry. I can’t cry and I hate it. It is like I have no emotions left inside of me. It is like I can’t feel anymore.
I don’t get sore. I don’t get happy. I just get angry. I get so savagely angry. Angry like I want to tear you to pieces. Angry like I want to watch you get hurt. I want you to get fucking hurt like me and I want you to see how you are the one who hurts me.
I love you. But I fucking hate you so much more.
There is nothing pretty about you. There is nothing similar between us. We have nothing in common at this stage of life. Do you not see? Do you not see how I want nothing to do with you?
Disappear. Disappear, or just let me?
there there my darling. just breath. just keep going. just keep running. stay calm.
you want to cry?
then cry my darling?
i want my lips to go dancing tonight. i want them to go dancing with him, but he is so far away and that would be impossible.
i want to be happy, but there is only one way. i will be me.
who am i?